24 Heures du LeMons

I don't know about you, but we here at the Autoblog love the 24h of LeMons. Case in point:

Yes. That is a fucking Pontiac Fiero.. in Alitalia racing colors!! Fuck Yea!

In case you are not familiar, the 24 hours...or as those surrendering cheese eaters the french say, heures du LeMons is an endurance race for cars under $500 before safety gear. 500 bucks and you can enter....race for 24 hours, and win $1500 paid in...NICKELS! The winner of this year's race did 2000 laps in a Toyota Supra without a hood. The Alitalia Fiero pictured above ran a respectable 679 laps. This is the greatest race in the world. Hands down.

What the F?

....As the title says- Wat the F?!

Chrysler Shocks the Shit out of the Autoworld!

No pun intended- Chrysler literally shocked the auto world with this:See that beast in the middle? This - This is Chrysler's savior.

Now- the Autoblog is not one to gloat, but....remember this?? HA! We called it! The next K-car isn't a shitty compact sedan- but a badass sports car! Look at the Viper-esque styling! This beast is based on the Lotus Europa's underpinnings, and man does it show!!
Look at the badass color schemes! While Ford and Chevy were getting off on their hybrid vehicles,Chrysler took the incredibly badass route and waited until they had tangible options to show. Holy shit. These cars were developed in secret too. In the age of the mass media and internet- they developed multiple cars, a multi-stage process, in near total secracy. Wow. The Autoblog doesn't even have some witty smartass remark for this. We are truely impressed. Here is thy savior Chrysler! May it work out!

A Little History Lesson in Badass

Back in the day, this crazy guy named William Kissam Vanderbilt II started an international race called...ready? The Vanderbilt Cup!

Willy K- This guy got more puss then you'd ever get

The first race took place in 1904, according to Wikipedia, aka the most reliable source in the world. People such as Louis Chevrolet and Scuderia Ferrari raced, along with the poon magnet Willie k himself. This wasn't a pussy Nascar race either- no driving around circles. Willy was nuts. Willie k wanted to drive around 30 miles of dirt roads in Nassau County. Now, if anyone else wanted to do this, the town government would of shit in their cereal, but since he was a Vanderbilt, they decided to let it slide.

In one of those cars, Willie K is getting more poon then you'd ever get

"But Autoblog- that isn't badass?! A bunch of guys with pedophile mustaches driving around a shitty suburb? Please..." is what you are thinking.

It is the mission of the Autoblog to purge you of your ignorance! Enjoy your slice of badass pie! This race is badass because at the time, Nassau County was covered in nothing but shitty roads. We aren't talking ooo quaint country lanes and shit, we're talking just really shitty ox-cart roads. Picture driving a shitty Buick Le Sabre on a twisting cow path at ungodly speeds, all while being surrounded by death. Now replace the Buick with a shitty 1910 racecar with not one safety feature whatsoever. The Buick looks pretty enticing right now don't it?! The race occured yearly until 1916, where it was resumed on a not so badass racetrack in the 1930s. After a 40 year hiatus in the 60's, it returned as a CART event. But no one cares about a shitty CART event.

Here is the Autoblog's stance, and professional recommendation:
Long Island should have a full blown rally race!

Picture doing this....

Here:

Now that would be fucking awesome. A huge ass rally race in a suburb. Someone make it happen. Your thoughts avid Autoblog readers?!

HA! High-end Auto makers are dicks!

Hah now this is fucking funny:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com
/2008/09/16/check-the-timing-belt-on-these-luxury-cars/

So, as the economy tanked this week, there was a lovely auto show called Motorexpo in front of Merrill Lynch. As people walked with their heads down in shame and money hemorrhaging out of their asses, they got to see Rolls, Aston and Bentleys that they can no longer afford! What a nice way to start the day for the average white collar schmuck who is fearing their job security! Hah congrats high-end Auto makers! You are the dicks of the week!

Hmm. We can't afford THIS anymore. Guess we'll go shoot ourselves now!

Its funny though, this thing was planned months in advance, and these automakers had no idea that the economy would take a collective shit, but they are being called insensitive anyway. Regardless of these silly things called "facts"- it is fucking hysterical. Any opinions avid readers?! Leave them in the comments section.

Porsche wants to have it's way with Volkswagen

So- I dunno if you avid readers have time lately to check out automotive news, but besides the massive economic collapse of America, there is other big news:

Porsche is in the process of acquiring Volkswagen!

Das People's Car

The People's Champion!

What is very funny is that Volkswagen is saying that Porsche is "pushy". Germans, being pushy? No Shit! Who wouldadunkit?! C'mon Volkswagen grow a set of balls and do one of two things. Defend yourself, and do not be bought out, or let Porsche marry you in the classic arranged 18th century way. Well, regardless, maybe the Beetle will have a sick water-cooled turbo flat six now.

Just Pretend, for a second, that this thing has a Porsche Engine. It is both a sickening and awesome thought.

That would be cool. Really cool. Or maybe Brooke Sheilds will become the office spokeswomen for the 911! Whats more badass than the bitch from Blue Lagoon promoting a 911?! Is this move good for Porsche? Will they still be badass with all of VW's lame-ass baggage? We here at Das Autoblog say yes- what do you, the avid readers think?

World's First 8 Speed Tranny... man that sounds wrong

Lexus recently introduced the world's first 8 speed transmission. Or tranny. Hah- Tranny. Yes the autoblog made the same joke twice.

Lexus' new transmission

Now, we here at the Autoblog are all for the comfort and shit, but 8 speeds? Is that necessary? Why? I don't get it- someone explain why not 6, 7 but 8 is what is sufficient?

Anyway, you avid readers probably noticed why the Autoblog is now...Das Autoblog. Why? Well, why the hell not? German words look cooler, sound cooler and are cooler. Except for Schnitzal. That word is not cool. Just say sausage. Anyway- The Autoblog would like to ask you, the avid readers what do you think of this newfangled 8 speed tranny? (hah that never gets old). Use the comments section! We want feedback! We work to serve you! Ok thats bullshit, but comment none the less!