A Choreographed, Musical Showdown! (Minus the dancing or music)

Have you all seen the recent comparisons between the Infiniti G and the BMW 3? It is quite the heated battle. The Jets and Sharks got nothin' on this shit (and the G v. 3 Battle has alot less dancing. Easy Action! Cool as Ice!)

The BMW is getting ready to merk the G

The Infiniti is a quality contender for the 3's crown. It is quite the looker, with its strong muscular stance, and it is powered by that famous athletic Nissan 3.5 (or 3.7L) V6. It is a strong entry from the Japanese, and its build quality is exceptional. However, it lacks that German handling, and firm suspension, and it still has to earn its laurels in the auto world. All of this combined make it a losing battle against the titan that is the 3-series.
The BMW on the other hand has it's way with quality contenders like the G, and doesn't even have the decency to call them the next day to say thank you, or plan a second date. The 3 has been in Car and Driver's 10Best 17 times since 1983. Let me retype that. The BMW 3 series has been in Car and Driver's 10best 17 times. Why? well- its a BMW 3 of course, and that almost speaks for itself. When BMW picked their slogan, the badass claim to being "The Ultimate Driving Machine", it turns out that they weren't just talking shit. During the BMW 3's run in those 17 10best appearance, the 3 was kicking everybody's ass in motorsport and sales. The E36 was one of the most dominant sports cars ever.
So, while it is nice to toy with the idea that there is actually a contender to the 3's crown, in reality the Japanese are close, but still not ready top the 3. It just has too much excellence in its pedigree to be dethroned as of yet. If BMW gets cocky in the next model years however, the Infiniti will be more than ready by then to catch up.

The Cal Ripkin Jr. of Car and Driver's 10Best

Where is thy Savior?!

Take a long hard look at this image. This is an automotive legend- the Chrysler K Car. I am not even messing around. This is the car that saved Chrysler back in the 80's, and damn do they need one now. This thing came out of no where and single handedly brought the company from the edge of financial ruin. Its platform helped inspire the minivan, and we all know how that turned out. Chrysler today is in deep shit. The 300 quickly became a modern automotive legend that temporarily breathed life into the fledging company, but it wasn't enough. Their German overlords dumped their asses to the streets, and the company is still reeling from the harsh divorce. The new owners however, while enjoying the real estate prospects of the company (and lighting their Cuban cigars with $100 bills) are doing something surprising- giving the company precious time to turn things around, as seen in a recent NY Times article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/20/business/20chrysler.html?_r=1&ref=automobiles&oref=slogin

Chrysler, where is thy savior? Is it the new 300? It may be time to come out of left field again and surprise the world.

Buicks and Balls

joke about their wives having "four-holes"- this is a classy blog...). Now the brand is perceiveYou know what this world needs? A Buick with balls. Why? Well...Buick back in the day used to be the shit. If you drove a "Four-Holer", you were basically the guy on the block who was envied by your fellow man, and yearned for by their wives (I will take the high road and not make ad to be what Old People drive to the Old Country Buffet after Murder She Wrote. GM has castrated Buick, and for a while it was basically a eunuch brand. Today however, Buick has a stigma with the Baby-Boomers that is hard to shake, but I am hoping that the next generation of Buicks bring back some semblance of relevance to the public. The Lucerne and Lacrosse, both with their classic "Super" trim lines, should finally put some balls on this long docile brand, with the latter having a top speed of +150mph. If it worked for Pontiac, it can work for Buick. Let's hope GM doesn't fuck up.The Lacrosse a pretty car, with a muscular stance, and holy shit- it has muscle under the hood! A 5.3 L LS 4 V8 is behind those four holes (tee hee). If you look closely you can see the balls. If I keep on typing "balls", I am going to attract a different type of crowd (not that their is anything wrong with that)

See? Balls!

hmm...speaking of Fuel Prices....

The NY Times did an interesting little piece on the most relevant offering from Ford Motor Company....

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/10/automobiles/autoreviews/10BLOCK.html?ref=autoreviews

The Ford Excursion...EL! (thats Extended Length folks)
Driving this screams two things:
1. My Penis is Small
2. My Penis is small, and I love supporting oil-rich countries that oppress their populaces!

This beast can tow 9,000 pounds! That number is so awesome, let me write it again. 9,000 lbs. All at an exceptionally dismal 12 mpg in town, and 18 on the highway, but thats the base model, so who knows what damage the fully decked out version can do. 9,000 lbs is like, 4 Kias....but Jesus H. Christ on a pogostick... who in the hell needs that capacity while lugging eight assholes and "their gear" as the times eloquently put it. Don't get me wrong, Detroit Muscle is badass and all, but this beast has to be subsidized by Exxon or something.

Fuel Crisis? What Motherfuckin' Fuel Crisis?!

These cars are sick. It takes balls for domestic automakers to make cars like these with $4 dollar gas. That is why these cars are so fucking awesome. Imagine, that during the reign of the Prius, The Challenger, Charger, Mustang, Camaro and G8 are roaming free, kicking hybrid ass with engines that are way too large. Rear Wheel drive? Oh how we have missed thee! Thank god!

Nice Hybrid! THEEEEAAAANKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

The Maserati GT

I love the Maserati GT. It is a beautiful car. I don't even have anything funny to say about it. Look at it. Sex on wheels. Besides that incredibly badass grill with the Trident, it is a bargain. For the price, you can buy a Merc SL. Now that is a nice car, but every geriatric at the country club has one. It is pretty common. A Maserati though, now that shows taste and a dignified knowledge of the automotive world. The Autoblog raises its glass to you Maserati!

Mangio il volvos per la colazione, il pranzo e la cena! - That is what it screams.

The Ford Flex

This thing has a mini fridge to chill your brews. The same mini fridge that Maybach uses. DUI's can now occur with a frosty Coors! Score! The design is just soooo retro, and the interior is oh so chic. I can picture it now, cruising while my bros chill and look out the vista roof. Me and my multi-cultural brahs will be the talk of the nightclub getting this thing valeted. Chics will be achin' to see my 3rd row in this beast. Ugh- What the fuck Ford? We are not dumb. Its a fucking Minivan/Crossover. Here is what I do not understand about the Flex. It is a replacement for the Freestar (by the way- that idea of having all Ford car names beginning with F was fucking stupid. That could of been a car name: The 2009 Ford Fucking Stupid), yet it is being marketed to affluent Urbanites who are always dancing to shitty techno. A family car...that is being marketed to trendsters in Soho.

$42,770.

What the fuck!? 4-2-7-7-0?! For a FORD?! That is just not right! Who in the hell would buy this shitbox for $42,000 when you can have so many other nicer cars. The base is even pricey- $28,000, and thats for a bare bones people mover. Ugh I got douche chills.

This also gives me Douche Chills.

Thanks Ford!