hmm...speaking of Fuel Prices....

The NY Times did an interesting little piece on the most relevant offering from Ford Motor Company....

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/10/automobiles/autoreviews/10BLOCK.html?ref=autoreviews

The Ford Excursion...EL! (thats Extended Length folks)
Driving this screams two things:
1. My Penis is Small
2. My Penis is small, and I love supporting oil-rich countries that oppress their populaces!

This beast can tow 9,000 pounds! That number is so awesome, let me write it again. 9,000 lbs. All at an exceptionally dismal 12 mpg in town, and 18 on the highway, but thats the base model, so who knows what damage the fully decked out version can do. 9,000 lbs is like, 4 Kias....but Jesus H. Christ on a pogostick... who in the hell needs that capacity while lugging eight assholes and "their gear" as the times eloquently put it. Don't get me wrong, Detroit Muscle is badass and all, but this beast has to be subsidized by Exxon or something.

The Ford Flex

This thing has a mini fridge to chill your brews. The same mini fridge that Maybach uses. DUI's can now occur with a frosty Coors! Score! The design is just soooo retro, and the interior is oh so chic. I can picture it now, cruising while my bros chill and look out the vista roof. Me and my multi-cultural brahs will be the talk of the nightclub getting this thing valeted. Chics will be achin' to see my 3rd row in this beast. Ugh- What the fuck Ford? We are not dumb. Its a fucking Minivan/Crossover. Here is what I do not understand about the Flex. It is a replacement for the Freestar (by the way- that idea of having all Ford car names beginning with F was fucking stupid. That could of been a car name: The 2009 Ford Fucking Stupid), yet it is being marketed to affluent Urbanites who are always dancing to shitty techno. A family car...that is being marketed to trendsters in Soho.

$42,770.

What the fuck!? 4-2-7-7-0?! For a FORD?! That is just not right! Who in the hell would buy this shitbox for $42,000 when you can have so many other nicer cars. The base is even pricey- $28,000, and thats for a bare bones people mover. Ugh I got douche chills.

This also gives me Douche Chills.

Thanks Ford!